Our intent in creating this was to normalize the process we all go through in this walk we are on as solopreneurs. (That’s an entrepreneur who is working alone.) As solopreneurs, we have some pretty unique experiences. There’s the delicious joy of experiences gone right, and then there’s the exasperating frustration when they don’t … and there’s the feeling of overwhelm that occurs frequently.
So, we set the date, created the page of information on the BTR site, and then began to announce it on Twitter and Facebook. Only we didn’t practice. You see, BTR will only allow you to schedule one thing per day, and by the time we realized this, well, we were at the day of the show.
Mande’s intuition was warning her. In my usual optimistic way, I said “Look, even if we mess up, it’s our first time, and we’ll learn, right? It’ll be fine. We’ll do great.” Of course, I was thinking she was worrying about us not having enough to say or nobody showing up, or something like that.
It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to figure out how to use the switch board (or that there even was one!) and that I wouldn’t be able to even get Mande on the call! Yep. That’s what happened. We spent half the time trying to figure out how to both be on the call. Live. With listeners. Actual listeners.
We laughed about it later, but oooohhh, boy, did I ever feel foolish when the laughter was over.
Crash and burn.
So, how do we recover from crash and burn? How do we rise like a phoenix after humiliation, hurt, frustration, and all those other “lovely” experiences?
1) Share your pain: I immediately called my husband and my mother – the two people who love me most in the world, and wanted to share with them. Unfortunately, they weren’t available when I needed them. I then called a friend. That helped, a little.
2) Do something you love to do: I next saw that my ducks were all waiting for me to come feed them and that the bird feeder was empty, so I went outside to feed them all. (We live on a lake and the ducks – and the turtles – have become dear little friends of mine.)
3) Get quiet and listen: After feeding the ducks, turtles and birds, I sat at the edge of the lake for about an hour. Just being. I felt the earth beneath me, the breeze around me, saw the life in the lake around me, and heard the quacking of the ducks, and the call of the Blue Jay telling his friends that food was there. I absorbed the energy of Mother Earth, and allowed my disappointment and frustration to flow out of me as I received the message that all is well.
4) Tap: When I realized that what I needed someone to say to me was that everything was fine, and that I’d do better next time, that this is a learning process and I’m learning – and that I wasn’t hearing it from anyone outside of me – I knew I had to say it to myself.
So, as I tapped, I told myself these kind things (all true, by the way), and I began to integrate their truth into my being. This is a really important step, because we often will not hear what we need to hear from others. Once we become aware of what it is we need to hear, we must give it to ourselves (and most of us have never learned how to do this).
5) Take care of yourself: When my husband came home, I told him, “I don’t want to do anything tonight. I just want to relax and watch TV.” Later, I took a bath with candles and soft music, listened to my Unlimited Wealth CD, and went to sleep early.
6) Turn lemons into lemonade: By writing this article, I am turning my lessons into an opportunity to share, to grow, and to help others.
We all have experiences of crash and burn. It’s what we do with those experiences – how we handle them – that matters.
Which of these steps do you use? Which work for you? Do you have others that I didn’t include here? What are they? Care to share?
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” The Dalai Lama
Several weeks ago, I was spending the morning with my husband at our local Senior Center’s Flea/Antique Market. It’s always an enjoyable morning, as we peruse the vendors’ items. A favorite vendor carries used DVDs, and we happily stock our collection with some delightful new titles.
This particular morning, Francisco asked me to come take a look at some ribbons a vendor was selling. I finally got over there and discovered that he had large rolls (100 yds!) of satin ribbon in a variety of colors. Unfortunately, they weren’t colors I could use … until I saw some in ivory. I picked up one roll and held it thinking of how it could be used for my daughter’s wedding. (She’s put me in charge of decorations.)
I then picked up two more (he had six total rolls), and began to process out loud with Francisco how they could be used at the wedding. I had two of one width in my hand, and one of another.
“How much are these?” I asked the vendor.
“Fifty cents each,” he replied.
Before I could even think, another woman reached down and grabbed the other (and last) three rolls.
Shocked at what I perceived to be her incredibly rude behavior, I began to mutter things out loud, like “I can’t believe she just did that! Are you kidding me? I’m looking at these and she just grabs them up!”
She ignored me. I got louder (and more irritated).
She continued to ignore me.
Then, as I paid the man, she stood next to me, and I said to her, “You know, I was going to use these for my daughter’s wedding, and you knew I was looking at them! I can’t believe you just grabbed them like that! Would you even consider letting me have them?”
“Not with that attitude, I wouldn’t,” she replied, snootily.
I was incensed! Aside from feeling like a little girl who had been publicly scolded, I felt the whole thing was her fault to begin with. (And I knew I hadn’t handled the situation well at all.)
I looked around for my husband (who had distanced himself from me-lol) and walked toward him, saying, very loudly, “Can you believe her? How incredibly RUDE! You see, this is why I HATE Florida! So many people here are like that!”
He said, “I TOLD you to come over here. I kept telling you to come over here and look at them. But did you? No. You wanted to look at the DVDs.”
If I had had something in my hand I could have belted him with, I might have done it. Now I was angry with two people!
“Ok, you know what?” I said. “Just leave me alone. Let me cool off, because right now I’m really angry, and I don’t want to say things I’m going to regret later.”
Wisely, he did.
And I cooled off, and then began to look at the situation with some humor.
Why am I telling you this?
Well, because I know that I’m not the only one who gets triggered. I know that I’m not the only one who feels frustrated, and annoyed, and who handles things with less-than-perfect grace.
Because this is a perfect example of how the Law of Attraction works (or how “Thinkin’ it Into Bein’” works – yeah, kinda in reverse of what I wanted, but it is how it works!). And it is a useful teaching experience.
So, first off: what were my underlying beliefs to begin with that created a situation like this?
1) “The people in So. Florida are rude, rude, rude.” (Sorry to those of you beloveds on my list who live here; I realize this is a huge generalization, and is meant more about strangers in stores. Regardless, I have this belief, and it gets activated waaayyy too often.)
2) “I have to get mine before someone else takes it from me.” (Yep, that one’s in there, sorry to say.)
3) “There’s not enough for all of us.” (Old stuff for me, and very familiar to most, if not all of us.)
4) “When I get angry and loud, then I get in trouble/rejected/ignored/silenced.” (A female issue, generally speaking.)
I’m sure there are plenty of others, but these are the bigger, more obvious ones. (Can you spot any that may have come up for you in the course of reading this?)
So, here’s something to be aware of: we all get triggered. And when we do, we usually don’t handle things as well as we would like to, or as well as we normally do. We go to some place inside of us that is much younger, and less able to handle the situation with objectivity or grace.
This is where EFT or the tapping comes in so handy. Because when you tap on your feelings as you are triggered, you release them or neutralize them. Maybe not immediately, and maybe not completely, but you will soften the intensity of them. Over time, you find yourself getting less and less triggered about, well, pretty much everything.
And here’s something else to be aware of: When you’re feeling something – joy, delight, frustration, annoyance, anger, whatever it is – Law of Attraction will only bring you more of the same, or some very similar-type vibrations.
You can see from my above example that I went from annoyance to anger, as more and more of my negative beliefs were activated and triggered. The more I paid attention to them and gave them energy (or voice), the bigger and more intense they got – AND – the more they attracted similar beliefs or vibrations.
(This also works in the opposite way, too; the more you pay attention to something you want and give it positive energy, the bigger and more intense it gets – and the more quickly you see it manifested in your life.)
I even knew this even as I headed down this road. Frankly, I didn’t care. I was on a roll and nothing was stopping me. Until I went so far that I really didn’t like where I was ending up and how I was feeling. It was then that I stopped. I chose differently. I had to. I was feeling too awful.
I removed myself from the situation, went outside, yelled at the lady (and Francisco!) in my mind for a minute or so, then breathed deeply, looked at the trees, and even tapped. I began to feel relief. I began to feel better, softer, kinder.
My immediate relief was when I took myself away from the situation. Then, as I tapped, I felt better. I didn’t laugh immediately, but when I finally went back in and found Francisco, I was able to laugh again – at him, at myself, even at the lady.
But, know this: it was a process. It always is.
I could see how I had created the whole encounter with my beliefs. I could see how I activated all of those beliefs through my intense feelings (and, by the way, knew that I was creating my future even in that very moment by thinking those thoughts and feeling those feelings – grrrr!).
So how do we create?
1) Through the very thoughts we think.
2) Through the very feelings we have about the thoughts we think. The more intense the feelings, the quicker you manifest. (This is very good, if you are practiced at feeling hope and joy and delight, especially while thinking about the things you want to create. On the flip side, it can also be a challenge if you have practiced feeling intensely negatively about things. If that’s the case, work on it, tap on it … work through your beliefs.)
In my own example, I have had some pretty intense negative feelings and beliefs about the way I think people behave in So. Florida. Do you think that those feelings and beliefs are creating my reality? Yes. Absolutely. And because it has been so strong, I frequently see examples of it, and I think “See, I’m right!” And while I get to be right, I don’t get to be happy here in Florida. I can’t have both. (I’ve worked on it, I promise you, and it’s gotten much, much better. Still, this showed me I still have more work to do.)
3) By holding the vision of what it is we want.
So, dear ones, have you been triggered lately? If so, how are you using it to learn more about yourself? How are you using it to learn more about how you’re creating? And how are you using it to learn more about how to create what it is you want in your life?
Your assignment, should you choose to do it:
Think of a time when you were triggered about something. Now look at the underlying beliefs you have about that situation. Write them down. Tap on the most intense one(s). Notice where it shows up in your life in other areas. (It will. I promise.) Notice how this belief infiltrates your life. Tap on the belief – daily, if you must – to reduce your intensity.
Extra Credit: Think of something you really want to create in your life. What beliefs do you have that are keeping you from creating it? Tap on the most intense one(s). Notice where it shows up in your life in other areas. Tap on that belief – again, daily, if you must – to reduce your intensity. Begin to move into joy and excitement as you think about your dream. The more frequently you can stay there, the more quickly you will manifest it.
“First: seek joy, and all else follows. Since your feeling of joy is your indication of your connection with your Source, once you have achieved joy, you have achieved connection with your Source. And under these circumstances, all that is good follows.”
Since listening to your Wealth CD, I have received two promotions (the second of them was to my ideal job)!Dawn Wells-Astacio
I am filled with awe to think of the immense influence you and your incredible gifts have had on me, and the degree to which I have grown personally and spiritually since working with you. I have gone from not knowing what intuition is to completely trusting the information I receive and making confident decisions to act upon that information. My business - and my life - have both profited in innumerable ways because of working with you!Betsy Cobb
Ever since we started working together several years ago, I’ve found that each session is bringing new awareness and insights, and I am noticing changes all over the place in my life! You have such a keen insight and perspective that opens whole new areas to me that I thought I’d never see! I now am completely getting how my intuition works, and how to recognize the intuitive hits that I’ve been getting for years, but just didn’t know or trust. I now know I can trust my intuition!Adrienne Santiago
Doors are still opening from our session! I am so blessed with joy and I am seeing that opportunity is available at every hand. I am finding it incredibly easy to bring into manifestation my heart's inner most desire! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!Sequoia Warner
The Inner Circle made a tremendous impact on my life and it changed me in numerous ways. Before I started this coaching program, I was pretty confused and overwhelmed with my what direction to take my healing practice and how to market it and get the word out to people who would be interested in working with me. Once I started the course, I got some great support from Rev. Anne in terms of direction and the focus for the marketing part of the business and the group itself. I got the support I needed to help me boost my self- confidence and also to boost my self-image as a powerful intuitive. I’m so glad I did it!Gera Farkas
I have absolutely adored working with you, Anne. You have had a monumental impact on my life. When I first came to you I had so many issues, and so things going on. You brought so much clarity to all of those situations. I have learned I can manifest in ways that I never dreamt, which has shocked me so totally and made me feel so powerful. This was so new for me, and oh wow, it is so freeing to realize this!Debbie Hobar
After listening to your Health CD, I lost 7 pounds in less than a month, had fewer cravings, and wanted to exercise!Betsy Rosam
Your CD has been so wonderful to keep me filled with words of prosperity as I head for my breakthroughs! Thank you, Anne! Thank you, God!Justina Sterling
Even though I have been a student of EFT for a couple of years and have attended workshops lead by Gary Craig (and Carol Look) … and I am a graduate of the Centre of Transpersonal Psychology in London, England, when I needed some help to clear some very deep childhood traumas, I came to you. I loved working with you! You provided a safe, compassionate and non-judgmental environment that facilitated my healing process, and your skill allows my trauma to be released without struggle or fear. I know that you have mastered your own healing and because of that, you brought to the work we did together great integrity, insight and unconditional love. Thank you so much.Sarah Green
You are my serenity angel.Madeline Horton
I would highly recommend learning about how our intuition works – and working with Anne – to anybody who wants to connect to their inner guidance so they can move forward on a really solid basis. Thank you very much, Anne!Linda Anderson
I gotta tell you, it was a great, great seminar. I’m so glad I took it! Two days of pure transformation!Iney Byfield
Recently I had a day where I just could barely face the phone and make sales calls (even though I really wanted more clients). I decided to listen to your Successful Sacred Sales Conversations audio to help me get ready for my day. On the very next call, I closed a $10,000 client who excitedly stepped up to work with me and was eager to pay in full! What makes this particularly stunning is that I hadn't had a successful close like this in months, even with a good number of calls! Thank you, Anne!Mande White, MBA
Your uplifting presence, the energy and dynamism of your voice and the power of your workshop...wow, wow, wow. You are the light.Rev. Emile Gauvreau
You are amazing and gifted! Thank you!Joni Strickfaden
After just two sessions with Anne, I sold my first package for $1,200 to a client, and another package for $3,500 just a week later! Not only was it easy, it was fun!Kris Prochaska
I participated in Anne's Platinum Mastermind and just had the most amazing 2 ½ days at our retreat. It was absolutely fabulous! I'm so glad I came ... all the way from England!Sheila Kadeer
The session I had with you a few years ago was so powerful and it created such a shift that I'm always preaching about EFT to people. What shocked me most about the session is that the shift is not something I saw immediately, I just started noticing changes even months after. You really are a pro and a genuine healer. I am so grateful to you.Rebecca Navarro
I took part in Anne’s Platinum Mastermind group and attended the retreat. It was 2 1/2 amazing days where I got so much support and love and direction and help with my branding and marketing. It was phenomenal. Absolutely phenomenal.Adrienne Marks
Before I worked with Rev. Anne I was completely blocked. It was impacting me physically, spiritually, and emotionally. My family’s finances had not improved in over five years. I was holding myself accountable for things that I had no control over. During our work, Rev. Anne helped me in less than a minute to figure out what my block was. Rev. Anne is an amazing life coach and healer. Because of our working together I have been able to see things I hadn’t seen before. Wonderful things happened to my family in a very short time following our time together, including my husband getting a job back in his profession again and my winning a scholarship to attend a seminar weekend for my business!Sharon Gourlay
I simply adore your CDs and recommend them so highly!Lorrie Douglas Morgan Ferrero
I love your work!Donna Donovan
Working with Anne, I gained new skills and tools to move my business in a new direction, how to make more money! I’m so grateful I was in her Platinum Mastermind group! Thank you, Anne!Rev. Kimberly Francano
Thank you so much for the EFT session we had today. I feel like I have lost about 100 lbs of old baggage. I must tell you all the releasing that was done today has healed my kidneys. I've had problems with my kidneys for about 17 years. And I have tried kidney cleanses and drinking water and Reiki and this is truly a miracle as far as I am concerned. You are an amazing intuitive healer, I'm so glad the Universe led me to you!Jodi Marvin
My fear of being in front of people is gone! Anne has pure, powerful caring emanating from her as she works magic through her intuition and direction. I am so grateful! Thank you, Anne!M. Briese
Your CDs create such a space of joy and bliss so that it is helping us to open up and allow what we want to come to us. My daughter and I are seeing such wonderful changes in our lives!Sherra Basham
Anne helped me use a more simple process for strategy sessions with prospective clients. In a recent session with a potential client, she signed up for my highest priced package, despite the fact that she stated that she didn't have money to invest in coaching right now! Thank you, Anne!Lisa Smith
Nothing I have tried with anyone else – either directly (talk therapy) or indirectly (books, tapes, etc.) – has even “sort of” helped as much as the work I’ve done with you. You helped me release some old deep troublesome pains that were standing in the way of my progress toward long-desired goals. I now put a higher value on myself and the worth of my service, and I earn so much more than I have ever earned in my life because of working with you! Thank you, Anne!Barbara Nelson
I’ve just participated in Anne Presuel’s Platinum Mastermind and you know, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I realized how truly connected I am to what I’m doing with my work and how and why I’m doing it. I highly recommend it to everyone!Moira Hutchinson
Working with Anne as a Diamond VIP client, I’ve gotten more than what I expected. Choosing her as my coach has been brilliant. She has taken me from “I have no idea what I'm doing” to “Whoopee! I've got a plan, I know where I'm going and I've got support from someone whose been there and knows how to go beyond the limitations, the fears, the ‘What if's’.” At first I wasn't too sure because of the 'Rev thing' in front of her name. But my concern quickly dissipated. She has been AMAZING and continues to be! When you combine a great sense of humour (essential for me!) with insights that just seem to flow so easily from her (intuition on steroids!), it was a no-brainer to hire her as my coach initially and to re-hire her again.Julie Ramige
Thank you so much for the generous gift of your time and wisdom today! I really feel like I made a real quantum leap today! My idea now feels more like a physical reality and less like a dream! I am really looking forward to working with you!Victoria Fatula
For anyone who hasn't enjoyed your affirmation CD's, they're missing out on quite a treat!Rev. Lauren McLaughlin
Anne is the person I go to when I'm confused, stressed and need clarity in my business. She helps me see where I'm getting in my own way. She is an expert at helping me zero in on exactly what I need to shift out of my funk. Once that's done, I have a renewed sense of enthusiasm and am delighted to be back on track. She's gentle, yet persistent, and holds me accountable to my own true heart's desires.Jane Morrison
Anne, you're the best teacher I've ever had! You bring clarity where there was confusion and darkness. You rock girl!Adrienne Santiago
Truly amazing!Iney Byfield
Loving your Unlimited Wealth CD. I’ve been listening daily. Received unexpected check in the mail yesterday! Thank you God!Claire Perkins
Thank you for producing such beautiful and helpful CDs! I love them and when people hear them they want one!Peggy Henrickson
Anne has been a superb business coach. She steered us in a direction she sensed we were intended for and it has made all the difference for us. She has kept us on track, given us guidance and remained completely accessible. We’ve truly benefited from her experience and her ideas, her heart-centered insightfulness and, most of all, her unfaltering belief in us.Rick Lelchuk & Lynn Gorfine
I truly feel that working with you has been instrumental to my six-figure success this past year (my first year of being a solopreneur)!Mande White, MBA
I have a teenager reeling off your affirmations, like they are part of her being now. She and I have more “giggle-modes” because of your CD (and you know how important that is)! Thank you, Anne!Sherra Basham
- I wasted my money!
- Have You Decided Yet?
- Why Aren’t People Showing Up?
- How Do I Keep the Money Flowing In?
- Do You Have to Figure it All Out Before You DO?
- How Client Attractive are You?
- Aaaagghh! It’s too much!
- How long does it take to get to 6-figures anyway?
- How can I stop myself when I start to go down the toilet?
- How can I focus on my business in light of the trauma? (Should I?)
- Ever wonder “Am I good enough to do my work?”
- Is It My Intuition or My Subconscious?
- The Divine Biz Code
- Are You Saying “Yes!” Yet?
- But it’s not the right time!
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