Archive | Creating a Divine Life RSS feed for this section

How Do You Get Out of Melancholy?


 

Earlier this week, I was feeling melancholy about the upcoming holidays. As I was sitting next to my husband, with his arm around me, I talked about what was bothering me.

“I am missing my family so much – we are so far away … it’s Christmastime, and I don’t like spending it alone.”

I continued,“We still haven’t created the type of community here that I want and it just doesn’t seem to be happening … no matter where I go.”

And so on.

Have you ever had those moments?

As he listened to me, he just sat quietly. Then, he said “How would you coach someone if they came to you with this problem?”

Bingo!

This got me thinking in a whole new way.Hmmm…

“Well, first I’d do just what you did. I’d listen. Then we’d tap on the sadness and alone feelings. And through the tapping, they would have some shifts in their focus – they’d begin to see all that they do have that they are grateful for.” And I began to list everything I was so grateful for.

“You’re here, I’m here, the kitties are all here. We’re all healthy. My mom is alive and vibrant. Christina and Kenny are happy. We have this wonderful home. We didn’t have a hurricane this year from which we are recovering. We are safe. We have abundance. We have love. We have food. You have a job. I have freedom to swim every day, and to do the work I love. I have fabulous people to work with. There’s just so much…”

And as I continued, an interesting thing happened. I felt ever so much better. I felt love. I felt gratitude. I felt joy. I felt peace.

(Abraham-Hicks calls this a “rampage of appreciation.”  It totally works!)

The Law of Attraction works all the time, whether we are aware of it at work or not. When I was feeling melancholy – and focusing upon things which were causing me to feel melancholy – I was creating more of the same in that very moment. I was only thinking melancholy thoughts.

And when I changed my focus and put my attention upon things for which I had great appreciation, I began to change my point of attraction. I began to change what I could attract. I began to change what I did attract.

I changed my feelings simply through changing what I was focusing upon. Having said that, it also took Francisco’s gentle listening, where he gave me the space to be where I was, and then for him to ask such a brilliant, perfect question. That question changed my focus. He called me into a greater place. He asked me to remember myself in a stronger place. He coached me beautifully.

So, how does this story help you think better and create better? Well, here are three lessons you can take away right now and apply into your own life.

1. Give yourself a place to simply “get it out.”Whether it’s with your journal, a trusted friend or family member, or a coach, get the stuff that’s bothering you out of you. Tap if you like, but most importantly, let whatever is bothering you just be what it is. Don’t judge it (and don’t let anyone else judge it, either). It’s just stuff. It doesn’t mean anything except what we make it mean. Just get it out of you.

2. Ask yourself “How would I advise/coach someone else if they were coming to me with this problem?”This question will help you get out of your own way. It will help you step into a bigger, better place inside yourself to help you find your own answers. Then, follow your own advice or coaching. :-)

3. Appreciation and gratitude will trump any negative feeling.When you get present to this moment in time and get present to all that you have right here and now, you will begin to shift any negative feeling you had been focusing upon. When I remembered where I was nine years ago (in the middle of my horrible trauma) and then compared it to where I am today, well, let’s just say, my focus completely changed and gratitude filled my being!

The next time you find yourself complaining about what it is you don’t have, see if you can help yourself re-focus your attention and shift those feelings into gratitude for what you do have. The interesting thing is, when you do this, the Universe will actually begin to deliver what it is you wanted so badly.

Why? Because you’ve changed your vibration and you’ve changed your point of attraction. And when you’ve changed to the point of feeling more gratitude and appreciation on a subject than feeling lack, you’ll see it delivered to you!

 

Oh, and by the way, I did create some action steps to take given the ideas that came to me about the issues I was talking about. You will get the ideas about what to do to resolve your challenges. I promise.

 

 

Your Take Action Step:

 

For what and for whom are you grateful today? Why?

Make a list, even if it’s just a quickie…and notice how your energy shifts to a higher vibration.


 

Read full story · Comments { 0 }

12 Life Lessons I Learned from Swimming


I’ve been swimming most of my life, and have loved it from the very beginning. I remember my first swimming lesson at around age 5, where we had to put our faces in the water and then turn our heads to the right to learn to breathe. The teacher pointed at me and said, “Yes! Everyone look at her! That’s how I want you to do it!” In that moment, the water and I merged into one, and a life-long love affair was born.

For most of my life, I went swimming for fun. I played in the water for hours as a child, and learned to dive in my teen years (discovering it was NOT a good idea to do a belly-flop off the high dive!), and then as an adult I left most of the playfulness behind. Until I got around my guy cousins or my brother. Then we would chase each other and splash and dunk one another until we were exhausted.

My uncle taught us all to water ski. One by one, we all learned how to hold onto the rope and be pulled up. We also learned WHEN to let go (very important, if you are heading toward a dock, like my brother did one disastrous day!).
And in one particular public park in Lafayette, Indiana, where my family originates, there is a delightful water slide. At family reunions, our entire family would spend hours playing together at that pool. Even my grandmother, who was in a wheelchair, would join us in the shallow end of the pool, and enjoy the water.

It wasn’t until several years ago that I even considered swimming as a form of exercise. Laps? Are you kidding me? Swimming was for play, not boring stuff like doing laps. And one day, my husband and I went to the UVA pool, and I began to swim. (There were lanes there, and serious swimmers.)

I discovered I loved it! I reconnected with my love of swimming, my adoration of the water itself. I loved how refreshed I felt after a swim, how clean and how flexible my body felt. And after a long day at the office, it was so healing for me. What a gift this discovery was!

When we moved to Florida, I discovered that our community pool is shaped like a flower, with a great big fountain in the middle. Laps? They were nowhere to be seen. I sniffed and refused to swim for awhile. However, the lure of the water called to me.

One day, I went back to the pool. I began to flirt with the water again. I played a bit and half-heartedly swam some laps. This is how it remained for quite some time.
Then I began to listen to my Radiant Health affirmations CD.

Before I knew it, I wanted to swim. Every day. And I wanted to swim laps. Seriously. My lap count increased weekly. 10. 15. 22. 30. 33. (Could I make 44?) 40. Then, the magic number, 44.

Swimming has taught me some significant life lessons. (See if they apply to your own form of exercise or creative passion.)

1. Relax. You cannot float unless you relax.

2. Breathe. When you’re swimming, you’ve got to breathe. (“Well, DUH!” you say. Hang on, hear me out.) Part of being able to swim laps in particular is to be able to adapt your breath to your body’s needs. When you’re swimming faster and your heart is pumping harder, you need bigger breaths, and when you’re meandering across the pool, you can hold your breath longer. Well, when you’re in a situation where you’re anxious and stressed, what is the first thing your body needs? More breath. A deep breath. Several deep breaths.

3. Find your rhythm. Getting into your rhythm allows you to move into a space of surrender and peacefulness. And it leads you into #4, which is…

4. Be present in the moment. When you are present in the moment, you will be aware of the feeling of the water against your skin, your muscles moving, the sound of your breath blowing out under the water, the beauty of the sun and the water casting a light show on the bottom of the pool. It is in this space of peace and joy that co-creation occurs.

5. Be persistent. When you can’t find your rhythm (or don’t even know what that feels like), keep trying. Sometimes when I go, I am distracted and just cannot get into it (particularly if there are other people in the pool crossing in front of me). Go another day. Try again. You’ll get it.

6. Focus. This is related to my example of people crossing in front of me. When that happens, I find that I get irritated. “Don’t they know that I’m swimming here?” I think. Then I lose my breath and my rhythm. I’ve lost my focus. I have to consciously move them out of my mind, and refocus on my movement and my breath and the side of the pool that I’m heading to. Let other people do what they will, you pay attention to you and what you are doing.

7. Pay attention to where you are going (or, as my husband, the sage, put it, “Don’t bump into people”). Sometimes when I’m in the flow of the movement, I close my eyes as I swim. And sometimes when I do that, I run into the wall. Not good. Watch where you are going. And on a much larger scale, pay attention to what you are doing now, because it affects where you end up.

8. Pay attention to the details. What kind of kick am I using? Can I kick harder? How far am I reaching when I move my arms? Are my hands cupped all the time, even in the turns? Are my feet pointed? All of these details make a difference in efficiency as well as in how I feel when I’m done.

9. Challenge yourself. Can you go faster? Can you go longer? Can you try a different stroke? My favorite stroke is the Breast Stroke. I also love the American Crawl. However, I try out the Butterfly every now and then just because I like the challenge of it.

10. Try something new. When I learned to turn at the end of the lane, I learned to turn to the right. So, for years, I’ve always turned to the right. And it’s always felt a little strange to me for some reason. A few weeks ago, I decided to see what happened if I turned to the left. It felt so right, and it was easier, for whatever reason. Now, my turns are much more smooth and fluid. What have you been doing the same way just because you learned it that way? Can you think of doing it a little differently? (What is calling you to do it differently? That’s your first clue.)

11. Celebrate your accomplishments. That I’m swimming an hour each time I swim is an accomplishment! And when I made my goal of 44 laps I felt so proud! Today, I swam 15 of the laps faster than I’ve ever done it before. Celebrate! In celebrating, you are swimming (forgive the unintended pun) in the energy of lightness and love. This is the energy of Spirit itself!

12. Have fun! Life is meant to be fun. When you are having fun, you are vibrating in a feeling space of joy. And when you are vibrating in a feeling space of joy, you are then drawing to you – and creating – all kinds of wonderfulness.
Your assignment: Look at your own life. How are you learning these same lessons in the things you are doing? What one thing can you do differently today to move you toward your dreams?
Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Been Triggered Lately? I Have…

Several weeks ago, I was spending the morning with my husband at our local Senior Center’s Flea/Antique Market. It’s always an enjoyable morning, as we peruse the vendors’ items. A favorite vendor carries used DVDs, and we happily stock our collection with some delightful new titles.

This particular morning, Francisco asked me to come take a look at some ribbons a vendor was selling. I finally got over there and discovered that he had large rolls (100 yds!) of satin ribbon in a variety of colors. Unfortunately, they weren’t colors I could use … until I saw some in ivory. I picked up one roll and held it thinking of how it could be used for my daughter’s wedding. (She’s put me in charge of decorations.)

I then picked up two more (he had six total rolls), and began to process out loud with Francisco how they could be used at the wedding. I had two of one width in my hand, and one of another.

“How much are these?” I asked the vendor.

“Fifty cents each,” he replied.

Before I could even think, another woman reached down and grabbed the other (and last) three rolls.

Shocked at what I perceived to be her incredibly rude behavior, I began to mutter things out loud, like “I can’t believe she just did that! Are you kidding me? I’m looking at these and she just grabs them up!”

She ignored me. I got louder (and more irritated).

She continued to ignore me.

Then, as I paid the man, she stood next to me, and I said to her, “You know, I was going to use these for my daughter’s wedding, and you knew I was looking at them! I can’t believe you just grabbed them like that! Would you even consider letting me have them?”

“Not with that attitude, I wouldn’t,” she replied, snootily.

I was incensed! Aside from feeling like a little girl who had been publicly scolded, I felt the whole thing was her fault to begin with. (And I knew I hadn’t handled the situation well at all.)

I looked around for my husband (who had distanced himself from me-lol) and walked toward him, saying, very loudly, “Can you believe her? How incredibly RUDE! You see, this is why I HATE Florida! So many people here are like that!”

He said, “I TOLD you to come over here. I kept telling you to come over here and look at them. But did you? No. You wanted to look at the DVDs.”

If I had had something in my hand I could have belted him with, I might have done it. Now I was angry with two people!

“Ok, you know what?” I said. “Just leave me alone. Let me cool off, because right now I’m really angry, and I don’t want to say things I’m going to regret later.”

Wisely, he did.

And I cooled off, and then began to look at the situation with some humor.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, because I know that I’m not the only one who gets triggered. I know that I’m not the only one who feels frustrated, and annoyed, and who handles things with less-than-perfect grace.

Because this is a perfect example of how the Law of Attraction works (or how “Thinkin’ it Into Bein’” works – yeah, kinda in reverse of what I wanted, but it is how it works!). And it is a useful teaching experience.

So, first off: what were my underlying beliefs to begin with that created a situation like this?

1) “The people in So. Florida are rude, rude, rude.” (Sorry to those of you beloveds on my list who live here; I realize this is a huge generalization, and is meant more about strangers in stores. Regardless, I have this belief, and it gets activated waaayyy too often.)

2) “I have to get mine before someone else takes it from me.” (Yep, that one’s in there, sorry to say.)

3) “There’s not enough for all of us.” (Old stuff for me, and very familiar to most, if not all of us.)

4) “When I get angry and loud, then I get in trouble/rejected/ignored/silenced.” (A female issue, generally speaking.)

I’m sure there are plenty of others, but these are the bigger, more obvious ones. (Can you spot any that may have come up for you in the course of reading this?)

So, here’s something to be aware of: we all get triggered. And when we do, we usually don’t handle things as well as we would like to, or as well as we normally do. We go to some place inside of us that is much younger, and less able to handle the situation with objectivity or grace.

This is where EFT or the tapping comes in so handy. Because when you tap on your feelings as you are triggered, you release them or neutralize them. Maybe not immediately, and maybe not completely, but you will soften the intensity of them. Over time, you find yourself getting less and less triggered about, well, pretty much everything.

And here’s something else to be aware of: When you’re feeling something – joy, delight, frustration, annoyance, anger, whatever it is – Law of Attraction will only bring you more of the same, or some very similar-type vibrations.

You can see from my above example that I went from annoyance to anger, as more and more of my negative beliefs were activated and triggered. The more I paid attention to them and gave them energy (or voice), the bigger and more intense they got – AND – the more they attracted similar beliefs or vibrations.

(This also works in the opposite way, too; the more you pay attention to something you want and give it positive energy, the bigger and more intense it gets – and the more quickly you see it manifested in your life.)

I even knew this even as I headed down this road. Frankly, I didn’t care. I was on a roll and nothing was stopping me. Until I went so far that I really didn’t like where I was ending up and how I was feeling. It was then that I stopped. I chose differently. I had to. I was feeling too awful.

I removed myself from the situation, went outside, yelled at the lady (and Francisco!) in my mind for a minute or so, then breathed deeply, looked at the trees, and even tapped. I began to feel relief. I began to feel better, softer, kinder.

My immediate relief was when I took myself away from the situation. Then, as I tapped, I felt better. I didn’t laugh immediately, but when I finally went back in and found Francisco, I was able to laugh again – at him, at myself, even at the lady.

But, know this: it was a process. It always is.

I could see how I had created the whole encounter with my beliefs. I could see how I activated all of those beliefs through my intense feelings (and, by the way, knew that I was creating my future even in that very moment by thinking those thoughts and feeling those feelings – grrrr!).

So how do we create?

1) Through the very thoughts we think.

2) Through the very feelings we have about the thoughts we think. The more intense the feelings, the quicker you manifest. (This is very good, if you are practiced at feeling hope and joy and delight, especially while thinking about the things you want to create. On the flip side, it can also be a challenge if you have practiced feeling intensely negatively about things. If that’s the case, work on it, tap on it … work through your beliefs.)

In my own example, I have had some pretty intense negative feelings and beliefs about the way I think people behave in So. Florida. Do you think that those feelings and beliefs are creating my reality? Yes. Absolutely. And because it has been so strong, I frequently see examples of it, and I think “See, I’m right!” And while I get to be right, I don’t get to be happy here in Florida. I can’t have both. (I’ve worked on it, I promise you, and it’s gotten much, much better. Still, this showed me I still have more work to do.)

3) By holding the vision of what it is we want.

So, dear ones, have you been triggered lately? If so, how are you using it to learn more about yourself? How are you using it to learn more about how you’re creating? And how are you using it to learn more about how to create what it is you want in your life?

Your assignment, should you choose to do it:


Think of a time when you were triggered about something. Now look at the underlying beliefs you have about that situation. Write them down. Tap on the most intense one(s). Notice where it shows up in your life in other areas. (It will. I promise.) Notice how this belief infiltrates your life. Tap on the belief – daily, if you must – to reduce your intensity.

Extra Credit: Think of something you really want to create in your life. What beliefs do you have that are keeping you from creating it? Tap on the most intense one(s). Notice where it shows up in your life in other areas. Tap on that belief – again, daily, if you must – to reduce your intensity. Begin to move into joy and excitement as you think about your dream. The more frequently you can stay there, the more quickly you will manifest it.

I Promise.

 


Read full story · Comments { 0 }

Check Those Thoughts at the Door!

A new friend on Twitter asked me this week “How do you stay so positive and upbeat?” I told her that I’m not always like that, but that EFT has made a huge difference in my life in being able to be that way a lot of the time.

My mother tells me that I was an unhappy child. I remember being unhappy as a teenager (not so much as a child, although I do remember some difficult periods), and making a few life choices as a young adult that I wish I hadn’t (I actually call my 20s my “stupid 20s”). Then my daughter was born and there were rainbows and sunshine and lollipops in my world.

Still, I hadn’t learned how to control my thoughts. I focused a lot on what I didn’t have, and I focused on how life wasn’t fair and where I felt less than. I thought if I could control the world around me then life would be good.

Welllll, it doesn’t quite work that way. No, indeedy. And I was about to learn this – big time.

Trauma occurred. In a big way. Ouch. It wasn’t pretty and it definitely wasn’t fun. For two and a half years, I tried many different ways to get out of the emotional pain I was in. I trained in and became a Reiki Master. I trained in and became a hypnotherapist. I trained in and became an Angel Therapy Practitioner. I studied gardening and created one. I got help from numerous different therapists. I meditated, and studied book after book to learn how to heal. Still, I got triggered over and over and over again.

Then EFT entered my life. I trained in and became an EFT practitioner. And during the first training, the emotional pain I had been in for two and a half years released. It was gone. I was stunned at how effective this simple tool was. And thrilled that I had learned it.

That was in 2002. I’ve been using it ever since – on myself, on clients, on students, on family, on friends, on pets, even on strangers! It is effective. It truly works.

Still, I had to learn the next phase: to think better. We are powerful creators, and we create through our thoughts. While I understood this conceptually, living it – being it – was a different matter. Know what I mean?

Slowly, I began to understand the power of my own thoughts to create my life. Not just my thoughts, but the energy – or the intensity of the emotion – behind my thoughts. I learned how to think better.

Oddly enough, it seemed the more I practiced thinking better the more I could see all the areas in which I wasn’t thinking better. sigh… At times, it felt discouraging, which I finally realized was me creating more of the same. Round and round and round the circle I went, until I began to really get ahold of my thinking process.

Consciousness is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. Pieces of “Ah-Ha!” happen and things fall into place. We forget and we remember. We remember and we forget. And always, we move forward – even though at times it seems as though we are moving backward.

This week, I am with my 22-year old daughter, my daughter’s fiance, my mother, and my former husband. We all get along great, for the most part. Until a bump in the road occurs. Then I get to take a look again at my own beliefs, my own expectations, my own fears, my own desires, and adjust them accordingly. Or not.

I get to choose my own level of happiness – regardless of what anyone else is doing, saying, thinking or being.

Is it hard? Yeah, you bet … sometimes. But I know what’s in it for me if I stay the course and maintain my own level of peacefulness.

Am I successful? Not always. More so than I used to be. But I still get triggered by something someone else says, or does. (This very morning, I heard myself having a conversation in my head with someone that wasn’t very nice. In that moment, I realized I was creating my future by having that conversation and I had to “Stop it!”) It is in those conscious moments that we hear ourselves and change our thoughts that we then choose the direction of our lives.

What are you thinking into being?

 

Read full story · Comments { 1 }
Newer posts →