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Aaaagghh! It’s too much!

Building your spiritual business is like raising a child (or two).  In the first few years of your child’s life, all you think about is your little one. 

BusyChildQuestions arise that you have to address and uncertainties arise. 

Your baby cries, and you have to figure out what’s wrong and handle it… whatever “it” is.  The first years are intense, and mind-boggling.

And then it gets easier.

Building a business is the same.  It’s time-consuming and energy intensive, and you are plagued with questions and uncertainties. 

What I know is this: if you can make sure that you give yourself the gift of self-care, humor, support from another  and of allowing yourself to not know, then you will give yourself one of the greatest gifts you can give:  balance. 

This week’s question comes from one of my Divinely Prosperous Masterminders on this very subject…

 

Dear Anne -

http://www.dreamstime.com/-image25837477I feel like my life is in overwhelm between work, children, pets, courses, and developing a business. My job is not the usual 9 – 5 and my children aren’t old enough to be self-sufficient.  And, to top it all off, my husband works a lot of hours. 

How can I create more balance in my life?

PS: I do not watch TV and I’ve cut down on social media.

 

Overwhelmed and Off-Balance

 

Dear Divine One:

Bringing balance to your life, especially when you have children, and are working or building a business (or in your case doing all three!) is essential.  Hands down, the number one thing to do here (as best you can) is practice religious self-care.  

 

  • http://www.dreamstime.com/-image5919468Sufficient sleep.  
  • Plenty of water (good water).  
  • Good food.  
  • Lots of laughter.   
  • Exercise.   
  • Baths, or other yummy self-care items.  
  • Meditate.
  • Get a massage.
  • Have someone else clean for you when you can. 

 

Then, remember that you are doing ALOT already.  Give yourself a break on some of the things that are filling your time.  You can’t get rid of children or the pets (or the husband – lol), and you may not be able to get rid of the job right now (or want to).  

But… how can you make certain things easier on yourself? 

 

Young female is writing notes and planning her schedule.Make a list of the time-sucks or energy-sucks that can be eliminated or reduced.   Rate them on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the most important, and 10 being the least.  Anything that is a 5 or below, strongly consider eliminating it.  Keep only those things which feed you, or where you have a strong value system around it. 

 

Make a list of the things you LOVE to do.  What feeds your soul?  What lifts you up and draws you forward?  Give them a 1-10 score.  Those that are strongest?  Keep these alive and active in your life. 

ty

Prayer3ASK the Divine and your angels for help.  Ask them to go ahead of you and pave the way for you to have what you need and want: an easy, more-ordered, fun, relaxed life that is fulfilling you and allowing you to be the expression of the Divine that you feel called to be.  Many people forget this vital partner in their lives.  They forget that they can call upon their angels for support, for pre-paving and for organizing things.  Use this wonderful asset.  Frequently.

 

Declare your Truth.  Know that you can create what you want.  You might need to take a stand for yourself in creating it.  The Divine recognizes commitment, and conviction.  It recognizes dedication and devotion to your vision.  And you are always supported in co-creating that which is in your heart, because it was put there by God.  And because it was put there by God, the way is also made available by God.  Trust this.

 

Maintaining balance is essential for all spiritual entrepreneurs, especially as we transition into the work we have been called to do.  Because if we are too tired, or too overwhelmed to do our work, then we are not doing what we came to do.  If we are giving too much to one area of our life and not enough to other areas (which feed us), we will find ourselves spent easily.

So we must learn how to hold the space for balance in our lives.  And sometimes, this means painful cuts.

For it is then that we will not only birth our visions, but manifest them in their full glory!

And that, Divine One, is exactly what you came to do!

 

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3 Ways to Step into Your Magical Self

Last week, the Divine (or Spirit or God or the Universe – whatever you like to call it) showed me something that validated this journey we are all on together:  when you put your intention out there, when you speak it to others, it shows up in your life. Now this isn’t something new; I’ve been preaching this to you (the metaphorical choir) from the beginning.

And yet, I discovered again how true it is.  Let me tell you what happened…

On Thursday, Feb. 25, I wrote the blog for Saturday, Feb. 27.  I sent it to Christina (my assistant) as she was taking on more of the administrative work.  I then left it in her capable hands to get out to you guys, and to get posted onto my website, which she did.

Here’s what that blog said:

 

February 27, 2010 – Today’s Affirmation: I tune into the magic of my soul!

 

Today, I am clear about how magical I am.

I realize that I have the ability to create my life to be just what I desire most.  And while I am aware I must learn how to do this better and better, today, I spend time being present to that magic that I already am.  I spend time being present to the power I already have.  I spend time being present to the wonder that I already have created.

Today, I see my alchemist abilities grow and grow.  I love feeling magical and charmed! I connect with these abilities, and I realize that I AM these abilities!

I AM Magical!  I AM Charmed!

And so it is.

 

On Saturday night (the night the blog was published), as I was getting out of the shower and blowing out the candles (yes, I had taken a shower by candlelight which was oh, so nice!), I thought “Aaaahhh, magic!”  And then I remembered a number of other magical experiences of the day:  a lovely nap, a yummy foot rub given to me by Francisco (my beloved hubby), a candlelight dinner with him, errands run that were fun and completely delightful, a cuddling time with Pixie, my sweet kitty, a delicious fruit salad meal with my favorite fruits, my Valentine’s Day roses that were now in full bloom, a beautiful full moon that I could see from the window as I was taking my wonderful shower, a phone call with someone dear to me, and so on.

You see, when we state our intention not only to ourselves, but to the world around us, we begin to notice how our lives show up and how the Divine supports our statement of intention.  Now here’s the thing:  if we are in alignment with our statement, then life just flows to us.  If, however, we are not in alignment with our statement, well, then … uh-oh.  Watch how the Universe will show you the areas where you are not in alignment.  It is then your work to move yourself into alignment with your intention.  (That’s always our work, by the way.)

It’s obvious that I was in alignment with feeling magical and charmed.  I had no resistance to it.  And yes, for those of you who are asking, there are statements I write that I’m not fully in alignment with… of course.  However, having said that, I am always moving into alignment with them and paying attention to what the Divine is showing me AND doing the work.  Why?  Because I want my life to be one that works for me in all ways, one that is so completely in alignment with my conscious intention that I have no resistance to being at one with the Divine.  It’s worth doing the work.

So, here are the lessons from this:

1.    State your intention for what it is you want. Do you want a beautiful day?  State it.  Do you want a productive meeting?  State it.  Do you want to feel abundant?  State it.  The Universe hears and brings to you want you have stated.

2.    State your intention to others. Here’s where it gets tricky.  When you state your intention to others, be very clear that you may have those who will not support you.  But guess what?  These naysayers are your best teachers.  Why?  Because they are letting you know that a part of you believes (or is fearful about) what they are saying.  Your work then becomes clearing that resistance out.

3.    Pay attention to how the Divine delivers your intention.  Because it will.  It might be in small doses.  So what?  Pay attention to them and fill yourself with gratitude for those doses.  You are strengthening your belief in yourself and your ability to co-create with the Divine when you notice your life working.

 

Your Action Steps:

To start playing with this in a conscious co-creative way, it’s time to take some steps.

1.    Get clear about what you want right here, right now.  (By the way, be gentle with yourself here.  Choose non-resistant things that will help you build your energy of belief in yourself and in your abilities.)

2.    Begin to state what it is you want to yourself, to the Divine.

3.    If you are ready, begin to state what it is you want to others.

4.    Pay attention to how it shows up in your life – in large or in small doses.

5.    Acknowledge the areas that show up. (This will increase your own believability in yourself.)

6.    Be grateful.  (You will begin to manifest more and more, faster and faster with this one simple tool: gratitude.)

7.    Have fun with it!

 

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Why Forgive? (What’s In It For Me?)

 


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After someone has “done you wrong” and profoundly hurt you, why should you forgive them?  Why should you spend all the time and effort letting it go?  And should you let it go?  And if you forgive them, what does this mean?  Does it mean you go back for more?

 

I have gotten these questions a lot from clients through the years and I believe I have some answers not only because of my own experiences (yes, I’ve had to forgive big-time!), but also because I’ve spent years studying what forgiveness does for you.  (Did you hear that?  What it does for you.)

Jerry, a client of mine, is a favorite example I have of how what opens up in your life when you to forgive someone else. In 2003, Jerry came to my office in Charlottesville, VA, to work through some challenges he was having at work.  As we worked together, a very traumatic story came out.

 

Fifteen years earlier, Jerry and his then-wife had triplets.  One day, when the babies were several months old, Jerry came home at lunch to surprise his wife.  He was the one surprised.  He discovered his wife in bed with his best friend.

 

No surprise here – they divorced.  Then his former wife married the former best friend.  Then she asked Jerry to allow the new step-dad to adopt the babies. “You can stay involved in their lives, but it will be better for them to be part of a whole family.” After much consideration, Jerry acquiesced.

Somewhere soon after Jerry signed the papers relinquishing his parental rights, they got into an argument and his former wife said, “Go away.  You have no rights here.”

 

Through the next 12 years, even though Jerry sent his children gifts at Christmas and on their birthday to stay in contact, he was not allowed to be a part of their lives.  He hadn’t seen his kids in all that time, and he had a whole lot of (very understandable) anger toward his former wife.

 

We began to work on the feelings he had about this experience, one by one, tapping through his feelings.  When we softened the anger a bit, I offered a statement to him, just to check in with how he was feeling. “I forgive her for taking my kids away from me.”

 

Nope. Not happenin’.

We then tried “I’m willing to consider forgiving her for taking my kids away from me.” There was much less resistance to this, and as we tapped through it, I could feel his anger really releasing.

 

We tried again. “I forgive her for taking my kids away from me.” This time, the resistance was gone and we were successful.

 

Then, we worked on forgiving his former best friend.  This took some time, as you can imagine.  As we walked all around his anger at this man, Jerry found places he could really begin to let it go.  And as he let it go, he forgave.

 

Last, we tackled his anger at himself for letting his children go.  As we released shifted it, his whole being softened, and he was at peace.

 

He had forgiven himself.

 

Several weeks later, he called me. “You won’t believe what happened!” he told me, breathless with excitement. “My daughter, Susanne, contacted me and she wants to meet!  We’re meeting next week for the first time!”

 

“You know how this happened, don’t you?” I asked him.

 

“How?” he said.

 

“You forgave.  You changed your energy.  You changed how you feel about what happened.  You raised your vibration to love and compassion instead of anger and blame.  And when you did, she responded.  She heard you.”

 

Susanne was 14 years old when she saw her daddy for the first time.  It was a tearful reinion.  That was 2003.

 

Since then, she and her two siblings all got re-connected with their dad.  Their mother also reconnected with him, and they had the first of many profound conversations.  When she welcomed Jerry back into their lives, he got to be his kids’ dad.  It was a dream he’d longed for for so many years.

Last December, I heard from Jerry.  Two of the triplets are living with him while going to college and he was sharing how challenging it was at times!  I laughed as I heard how they are living and loving one another as any normal family.

 

So… why forgive?  What’s in it for you?  You forgive because your life will show up in a whole new way when you do.  In a way you cannot even imagine right now.

 

You don’t know what’s possible when you let go of your anger and your blame.  You don’t know what’s available when you lighten your being.  You don’t know who’s waiting to meet you, to dance with you, to love you, to give to you, to share with you, to play with you, when you release that blocked energy.

 

You just don’t know. And you don’t know what you don’t know. And because the freedom and the love and the abundance and the opportunities and the joy are all in the realm of you-don’t-know-what-you-don’t-know, your job is to step out in faith and Let It Go.

 

Always.

By the way, Jerry still had to work through some issues – and we did, through the course of several months.  But his original anger and bitterness and deep shame never, ever returned.  (That’s the power of EFT, my friends.)

 

Your Action Steps:

 

1. Decide right here, right now, that you are willing to forgive.

 

2. Decide which steps you need to take to forgive, then take them. (I highly recommend the book “Radical Forgiveness,” by Colin Tipping.  This book will have you look at forgiveness in a whole new – and very beautiful – light.)  By the way, choosing to forgive doesn’t mean you have to forget.  It just means you’re going to let the past go so that you are free now.

 

3. Get help if you cannot figure out how to forgive. Get help.  Get help.  Get help.  (Did you get that? Get help. There are many good therapists who can help you, but I highly recommend you find a good EFT therapist. By doing so, you will be releasing the blocked energy in your body and it is the blocked energy that causes all of the anger, shame, guilt, fear, and other negative emotions.)

 

4. Watch and see how your life changes. It will change.  It will become unrecognizeable.  And that’s a very good thing.


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Listening to Your Body 101

 


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Earlier this week, I was dragging around with very little energy.  This is pretty unusual for me because I am accustomed to getting up early and starting work immediately – and being able to work straight through the day (with a yummy break for swimming).    However, as you know, less than two weeks ago, I had major surgery.

Last week, I was still able to get the ezine written and out, my daily blogs written, and my email handled, as well as attend a meeting virtually.  I was able to get my own morning tea and oranges, and later in the week, I was able to feed my beloved birds and ducks two times a day.  I could shower and dress myself.  All good.

However, on Monday, some gremlin hit me.  I felt exhausted.  I decided I was going to push through it anyway.  Monday evening, I fixed a simple dinner for Francisco and me for the first time.  But afterward, I was done for.

By Tuesday, I was unable to do much.  I felt depressed, unable to focus, and certainly in no space to write my ezine or blogs.  By 1 pm, I surrendered to the exhaustion and slipped into bed.  Three hours later I awoke, still exhausted, still unable to focus, still depressed.

My inner conversation was raging at this point.  (This is what resistance looks like, by the way.)  “What the heck is wrong with me?”  “Why can’t I focus?”  “Why do I feel this way?”  “I don’t want to do anything, and I just took a long nap.  What’s going on?”  “Is this a side effect of the surgery?”

I couldn’t bear the idea of checking email.  Or writing anything.  Or fixing dinner (even though I was very hungry).  Or.  Or.  Or.

I prayed.  I asked for guidance.  I asked my guides and angels to clear my energy and help me regain balance.

And through praying, I surrendered to the experience.   I surrendered to the exhaustion.  I surrendered to the lack of focus.  I surrendered to the depression.

And I trusted.  I trusted that this would pass.  I trusted that I would be cared for.  I trusted that all would be well again.

I asked myself: what will make me feel better?  The answer: dinner. I was hungry.  Dinner would take care of that.

When my husband came home soon after, I had fixed a simple dinner of salad and couscous.  We sat down to eat, and I asked myself again, what will make me feel better?  The answer:  watch TV. So we did.  TV allowed me to let go, to digest dinner, to stop resisting the exhaustion.  It gave me a space to just be.  To laugh at some of the comedy, and to enjoy what I could.

Wednesday, I awoke feeling so much better.  I was able to focus.  I was able to feel joyful.  I was able to write!  I suspect I may have more of those other days in the future, and if so, I will surrender to them as best I can.  I am aware that these are indeed some of the side effects of the surgery I just had.  There are some things I can take to support my body in regaining balance, and as soon as I can go swimming again, that will be one of them!

Here’s the lesson in this – for all of us.

1.       As soon as you can, stop resisting what’s happening.  Surrender to it.  Allow it to be. Because it is in the allowing that you will be able to move through it much more quickly.  Nobody likes feeling bad – emotionally or physically.  Yet, it is a part of life as we evolve into higher consciousness.  We all have days.  Let them be, and look for the lessons in them.  Look for your opportunity to become more than you are.  Look for the compassion for yourself and you’ll find it.  Then that compassion will extend to others, as well.

2.       When you’re feeling bad, ask yourself, “What will make me feel better?” Then trust your answer.  Just do it if you can.  Your body and your higher self knows what you need to help regain balance and to heal – or to simply feel better.  Allow yourself to be guided by this inner wisdom.

3.       When you cannot figure out an answer for what’s going on, pray. Yeah, that’s it.  Pray.  Because by praying, you are declaring your intention of finding your answer. You are setting an intention of healing. And in setting your intention, you will find your answers.

So that’s it. Surrender. Ask yourself, “What will make me feel better?”  Trust.  Do it.  Pray.

Your Action Steps:

1.       Ask yourself, “What is my lesson in this?” Listen for the answer. Trust it.

2.       Ask yourself, “What will make me feel better?” Trust your answer.  Then do it.

3. Pray, and surrender to what is going on. You’ll find your way through. Trust it.

By the way, notice the theme above? Trust.  Trust.  Trust.


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Where Are You Being Cared For?


When I returned home recenbly from my daughter’s college graduation, my husband and I discovered that our washing machine had died. As had the refrigerator. (The fridge had been going before I left, so this wasn’t as much of a surprise, although it was a frustration.)

So, it being Memorial Day weekend, we decided to go check out the sales to see what we could find. We came home the proud parents of a new washer, dryer and refrigerator.

Three days later, our new babies were delivered to us. Happily, I set about playing house (enjoying cold food and ice, and washing and drying several weeks’ worth of laundry). On Friday night, my husband discovered a big puddle in our garage, and we traced it back to the kitchen under the refrigerator. We had a flood on our hands. Uh-oh.

My life suddenly became consumed with learning all about what happens when you have a flood in your home. (Particularly in South Florida where the humidity and heat is so high.)

Three weeks later and we’re still getting the estimates for the repairs to the kitchen. I am astonished at how much brain energy something like this consumes!

Christina and her mama. Christina and her mama.

Last weekend, my daughter had her bridal shower, in Maryland where she lives. And another wedding gown fitting. Way cool, and way fun. A delightful break from the past few weeks, and a soothing balm to my soul to spend even a few more days with her.

Here is where I am right now with this whole kitchen issue:

I feel blessed, very blessed, to have found a wonderful contractor to help us through the process of drying and now restoring the kitchen.

I feel blessed to know that Sears is intending to handle the flood damage repair costs with integrity and grace.

I feel blessed to participate in this celebration of my daughter’s life, to be a part of it, and to know that she wants her mama there by her side as she moves into this new phase in her life.

I don’t always feel present to these truths, however. There are times when I feel frustrated, annoyed, and just plain MAD that this (or something else) has happened. And when I do, the process of shifting my emotions (or my focus) is often challenging and time-consuming.

I want to stay feeling peaceful and blessed most, if not all, of the time. Yet, when I start to complain about what has happened – whatever it is – I begin to feel more and more frustrated.

This, then, becomes a no-win situation. Because, as you know, where ever your attention and your intense emotions are, you are creating, whether it is something you want, or whether it is something you do not want.

My challenge becomes to re-focus my attention onto what I want, not what I do not want, so that I can create what it is I want into my life.

My homework for you: take a look at your life and answer these questions.

Where are you challenged – and blessed – in your life?
Where are the challenges you are dealing with being handled with integrity and grace (not just by you, but also by others)?
Where are you being wanted and honored by others?
Where are you being cared for and guided by Spirit?

Are there areas in your life where you are busy complaining, and as a result, creating more mess … and missing the blessings?

If you will choose to shift your thoughts to focus upon the areas where you are being held, where you are being cared for and where you are being guided by Spirit, you will see those blessings more clearly. If you will choose to shift your thoughts to focus upon what you do want, rather than what you do not want, you will begin to create it more and more quickly.

For me, this happened last week when the tile guy came out at the suggestion of the contractor. He checked the tile for damage (which was not apparent to the eye, by the way). As he tapped each tile, we could hear which ones were damaged from the water. I would never have known about this had it not been for the contractor.

Relief and gratitude filled me as I realized that even in the midst of this frustrating experience, I was being taken care of.

So again, I ask you: where in your life are you being held, being cared for, and being guided as you move through your frustrations and challenges?

If you look, you will see. I promise.

 

 

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