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I wasted my money!

Dear Anne:

I worked with a mentor for about a year in my business and I didn’t get what was promised. I’m upset and angry that I wasted all that money. In some ways, I feel like I was cheated!

It makes me all the more apprehensive about working with anyone again. How can I feel better about what I did?

 

Dear Divine One –

So many people are investing in themselves and their businesses these days with mentors. And some people get a lot out of their investments, and some people don’t.

Here’s why (and you may not like the answer):

Some people do the work.

Some people don’t.

It’s as simple as that.

Think about how you are perceiving your experience.  You are comparing your experience with someone else’s, and finding your experience to be less-than.

Here’s the thing:  not everyone gets the same results because:

  • not everyone starts out at the same place in their business;
  • not everyone needs to move through the same mindset shifts;
  • not everyone is clear about where they are in their business when they begin;
  • not everyone is clear about whom they serve;
  • not everyone is clear about the transformation they provide
  • not everyone can articulate that transformation well;
  • not everyone has the same skills in marketing their services;
  • not everyone has the same skills in building their business;

and the list goes on.

Get the point?

If you had to get clear or develop any of these pieces or skills, it is natural for it to take you longer to build your business or to get the results from the mentoring.  Building a strong, successful business is a time-consuming, skill-developing experience.  It doesn’t happen over night, or even in one year.

Plus, the more mindset shifts you need to go through with your mentor, the longer it will take you to build your business. The fact that you are upset and angry that you “wasted” money indicates that you still have some major mindset shifts to go through in order to build your business powerfully.

Here’s what I mean by that:

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You are framing your experience as though you are a victim.

As though you have (or had) no power or control over the outcome.

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Instead of owning that you made the decision to work with your mentor and that you made decisions during your time with your mentor to take certain actions, you are choosing to feel “cheated”; like you wasted your money.

You feel this way is because you are not standing in your power about the decisions you made – both with hiring your mentor and with following through on the guidance given.

This is like someone attending college, failing their courses because they didn’t do the work, but then blaming her professors.  

You attended business training but are now blaming your mentor for your results.  While I will agree that there are lousy professors and lousy mentors, it’s your attitude I’m referring to here.

A GiftOnce you change your mindset to recognize that you are not a victim, you will begin to see all of the lessons (i.e., gifts) you actually learned from your experience.

(One of these might be to recognize when you are giving your power away to someone else and feeling victimized.  And if you get that lesson, you will have gotten your money’s worth, multiplied!)

Sometimes, people think from a small, myopic view: if I invest x dollars, then I must see x results or else I’ve wasted my money.

The truth of the matter is, they actually need to learn x lesson before they can see x results.

 

They need to do significant inner work

in order to manifest the outer results.

 

Such is the case here.  Clean up your victim mentality, and see what the gifts were from the choices you made.  (I promise you there are many if you will choose to look.) 

Appreciate those gifts and the mentor who provided you the opportunity to experience them! When you do this, you will get the results you so desire!

ty

 

Now go get your Divine ON!

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Have You Decided Yet?

Dear Anne:

I’ve been stepping up in my business a lot recently.  I’ve joined programs to help me understand more about what I can do to build my business, and I’ve been taking actions that the people leading the programs are telling me to take.

And I’m still struggling.

Why isn’t this working?  If I’m doing what I’m being told to do, why haven’t the clients and the money manifested in my business yet?

Dear Divine One –

This is, hands down, one of the most frequently-asked questions I hear from spiritual entrepreneurs.  Especially from those of you who love – and practice – the Law of Attraction. 

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Why isn’t it working faster???

 

Here’s why (and you may not like the answer):

 

You haven’t decided yet.

Undecided

Seriously.

Now I can hear you arguing with me over this, I really can.  So let me explain, because I think you’ll understand more what I’m saying.

There is usually a lag time between the time we say we want something and when we actually get it.

During that lag time, we are continually being offered other opportunities.   Call it Divine Testing, if you will.

We are given the opportunity (over and over) to answer the following questions:

 

Are you sure you want it?

Really?

How about now?  Do you want it now?

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The last one usually shows up when we’ve been given other opportunities that aren’t quite what we said we wanted.  Think of examples in your own life of dating, or hiring a team member, or buying clothing for yourself or furniture in your home.  Think of friendships. 

You know that if you settle for less than what you have said you want, then that’s what you get, right?

Years ago, I decided to stay home with my daughter when she was little.  I was given opportunity after opportunity to make a different decision. 

There were many who shook their heads at me and kept telling me to just put her in day care.  It didn’t make sense to be home full-time with her and not be making money.  (To them anyway.)  And I had to dig my heels in and over and over again make the decision that I was going to stay home with her.

Not surprisingly, when I began my business, I had to do the same thing.  Again and again, I had to decide that this is what I was going to do. 

No. Matter. What.

Nobody else’s disbelief, or fear or lack of understanding was going to get in my way.  I was going to figure this business out.   Period.

Getting a job was NOT an option.  (Although I will admit I toyed with the idea more than once!)

If you are reading this, then it’s clear you have been called to be not only an entrepreneur, but a spiritual entrepreneur.  In order to bring it into being, you must find it within yourself to stand in your own power and declare to yourself, to your family and friends, and to the Divine that you WILL figure this out, you WILL do this, and nothing and nobody is going to stop you! 

Declare it loudly.  Declare it powerfully. 

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Say it like you mean it.

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Say Yes

 

You see, you must believe yourself.  And that means deciding.  Again and again and again and again.  Until what you want shows up.  Until you ARE what you want.

And that, dear Divine One, is what you are called to do.  Because then the Universe will believe you.  Because then YOU will believe you.

 

Now go get your Divine ON!

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How Can I Grow My Business?

One of my favorite topics these days is “how can I grow my business?” (Just ask my family, they hear me talk about it incessantly.)  I don’t mean to be a one-note Jill, but for some reason, it is just about all I think about.

I am fascinated by the process this journey requires.  There is not only the experience of figuring out what I want to offer, but also the method or way in which I intend to offer my gifts to the world.  This means, well, products, services, and marketing.

I never paid much attention to this – not really – when I had a practice where I saw people one-on-one for sessions.  I would regularly give talks and presentations, but I never went much beyond the Yellow Pages ad.  I had planned on creating more of my work online at some point in time, but I was never really sure where to go with it or what to offer or how to do it.  I mean, I frankly struggled with dealing with a website.

Then, I met Mande White.  Mande attended one of my workshops, and I liked her instantly.  We became friends over the course of a year, as well as colleagues.  She helped me immensely when it came to “How the heck do I do THIS?” (whatever “this” was).  Mande has her own business, where she teaches people how to use the social media world for their businesses.  She is in great demand, and clients absolutely love her, because she explains things so well, and gives so much.

Since then, I’ve been learning how to move forward doing what I love to do.  I will say, however, it’s been a real journey.  And not much fun sometimes.  I get stuck in my own inner conversations that say “This is too hard!” or “I don’t know how to DO it!” or “Who am I kidding? My dream is just so much bigger than I know how to create!”  The thing is, magical people have been coming forward to help me.

First, it was the Magnificent Mande White.  Then entered Alicia Forest, an incredible coach who teaches how to build your business online.  Then yummy Jan Masters, who is an amazing coach who helps people maintain their sense of joy in life.  Then MamaRed Knight, who does awesome, fun, and energizing radio shows.  Then Melissa Hart, a wonderful assistant, who makes cold calls for me, and loves doing it!  (Imagine that!) Then Sharon Savage, a delightful VA, who has been taking the load off my shoulders and putting it onto hers (all the while laughing with me).

What I’ve realized is this:  I don’t have to know how to create what it is I want.  Spirit (or the Universe or God or whatever you want to call that energy of Love and Light and Beauty and Syncronicity) is bringing to me the perfect people at the perfect time to help me take that next step.  I don’t have to have it all planned out.  I can just trust and have faith that it will.

(This from a minister.  See, I’m still learning, too.)  To quote my daughter:  “It’s all good.”


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