Divine Blog Post

Are You Client UNAttractive?



Hello, Divine One!

People talk a lot about client attraction.  (Heck, I talk a lot about client attraction!)  But seldom do people talk about client unattraction.  (Guess what we’re gonna talk about?)

Recently, I’ve been hearing from a lot of people in my community about ways people are actually repelling clients because of how they are showing up in the market.

Yeah.  For real.  Repelling. Clients.  (ouch, right?)

And yet, you’d be amazed at how often this happens. People who are really fabulous at their work end up losing a potential client because of the way in which they say or do something.  Sometimes, it’s a momentary thing, but other times, it’s a way of beingness.

Unfortunately, the market won’t tell you what happened; instead, it will just leave it to you to figure out.

Since I’ve had the opportunity to hear many of these complaints, I’m going to share some of the biggies with you here.  In addition, I’ve experienced some (or ALL) of these behaviors from people I’ve hired or talked with as a prospective client.  (And they’re juicy!)

Just be sure you aren’t doing any of them, ok?


So here we go:

1)    You’re confused; we’re confused.

This one is painful to see. Over the past year, I’ve watched someone change their specialty at least four times. One time, they were helping people manage the technical side of business. Then they were a business coach. Then they were a spiritual counselor. Then they were specializing in event management.  (Truthfully, I don’t know what they’re doing right now.)

All the while they were acting like they should be paid top dollar for their work.

All I can think of now when I see this person’s name is: ungrounded. Fear of committing. Flailing. Because of this, I wouldn’t hire them for anything. I wouldn’t trust that they would still be doing what I hired them to do in 3 months’ time.

The solution to this is pick one. Pick a specialty.  You don’t have to “marry it” right away, but at least get to know it before discarding it to move on to another specialty. And, not to offend anyone, but don’t change your specialty the way you change your underwear. I mean, seriously. At least not if you want to build anything sustainable.


2)       You’re not available

What happens in this scenario is that someone reaches out to you to learn about your services. You aren’t available. You can’t give them any time until a week (or more!) away.

Woman Saying No

Guess what?  They go elsewhere to find someone to scratch their itch.

The bottom line is this: when someone is in need, it’s usually now. Recently, someone told me she was coach-shopping, but I was the only one who called her back.

Think about it. When you want something you go looking for the answer then and there, don’t you? Why would someone be any different for your services? Help them out. Make yourself available.

Oh, and by the way, I’m not saying available at any time or situation, or for any length of time. Be appropriate, and honor yourself and your time and energy. What I am saying is be available. Don’t push the clients away before you even have a chance.


3)       You’re lacking in integrity

Here is how this looks:

  • You promise a lot and deliver a little.
  • You say you’ll do something, but then you don’t follow through.
  • You mess up but you don’t clean it up.

I don’t know about you, but integrity is HUGE for me. If I hire someone and they show that they either don’t have integrity or they have spotty integrity, well, we part ways very quickly. (It’s old stuff left over from my Trauma Drama days, I know, but I don’t care. This is important to me.)

Your easy peasy solution: Be in integrity. Clean things up when you mess up. People get it. Nobody expects perfection.

What people do expect is authenticity and integrity.


4)       Making someone come into your world in order to work with you

When you are given the opportunity to sit down with someone and have a sacred conversation about what they need and whether you can provide it, then meet them where they are.

It is a big mistake to tell them that the only way you’ll work with them is if they do things your way. Don’t try to make someone be where they aren’t before they are ready.

If you do this with your prospective clients, I can promise you it is a big repellant. You’ll always lose a client by doing this.

Your solution to this is to build an emotional bridge to where they are and invite them across it into your world. Invite them to see things from a different perspective.  Invite them into the possibility. Help them understand why your way will help them get what they want.

Give them space to come into your world on their terms.

Remember: they are challenged because they haven’t figured out how to get past this issue and they are looking for a guide, a mentor, to help them through it. If you can help them, why would you tell them you will only help them if they do things a certain way?



5)       Ignoring the “Know, Like & Trust Factor”

What this looks like is this: someone assumes way too much too soon. I jokingly say it looks like someone trying to stick their hands down your pants within the first few moments of meeting you.

Can we just say eeeuuuwww?

How this shows up is this:  they ask you to work with them right off the bat before ever finding out your name. (Ok, maybe they have your name, but that’s about it.) You know what I’m talking about. They try to push you into a relationship you don’t even know you want.

Couple Not Attracted

Your solution is to recognize that your business relationships need nurturing and developing (just like any other relationship).

Trust takes time to build. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time, but you must honor the other person’s need for speed. (Their speed, not yours.) And if you’re pushing them too soon, then you’re doing it because of your needs, not theirs.

And that is very client repellant.


6)       You’re distracted.

What happens in this scenario is that you’re not really listening. You’re not paying attention. You are doing two (or three or more!) things at once. “Um-hum” is your response without even knowing what you’re um-huming to. You’re looking at your phone or surfing the web while someone important is talking to you.

(By the way, if you do this in your relationships, I promise you, you do it with your clients.)

Wanna know something? You’re not fooling anyone. They know it. They can feel it. They can tell that you’re not there 100%. They can tell that you’re doing something else while you’re with them.

Solution: Don’t do it. Just don’t.

If you must be distracted (and it happens to all of us), let them know you’re distracted for a moment and tell them why. Doing so will build trust. Then as soon as you can, be present with them again.

Each person who comes before you is giving you a sacred opportunity to connect.

Sometimes you don’t want to connect for whatever reason; I get it. So in those situations don’t. But don’t pretend that you are and then be distracted.

And don’t let distraction be your common way of being. Because that is a big ole client repellant, baby.


7)       It’s all about you.

What this looks like is that when you are talking with someone you are doing just that: Talking.

You aren’t listening. You aren’t asking questions.  You aren’t showing any interest (genuine or otherwise) in them and what’s going on in their world.

Talk about boring. zzzzzzzzz….

Sleepy Woman

Who wants to be with someone who only talks about themselves?

And why would you hire someone who was so in love with themselves that it was a party for one?

You wouldn’t. (Or if you did, it would be a one-time thing!)

Your prospective clients (and your clients) are providing you with a sacred opportunity to connect at a deeper level. Treat all of your calls as though they are a sacred connection. Treat all the people who come into your energy field as though they are the most important person in your life. (Because in that moment, they really are.)


Final thoughts… You can change client unattraction in to client attraction, just by changing your ways of being. It’s not that hard, and your business (and your bank account) will thank you for it!


Get Your Divine On



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