Several weeks ago, I was spending the morning with my husband at our local Senior Center’s Flea/Antique Market. It’s always an enjoyable morning, as we peruse the vendors’ items. A favorite vendor carries used DVDs, and we happily stock our collection with some delightful new titles.
This particular morning, Francisco asked me to come take a look at some ribbons a vendor was selling. I finally got over there and discovered that he had large rolls (100 yds!) of satin ribbon in a variety of colors. Unfortunately, they weren’t colors I could use … until I saw some in ivory. I picked up one roll and held it thinking of how it could be used for my daughter’s wedding. (She’s put me in charge of decorations.)
I then picked up two more (he had six total rolls), and began to process out loud with Francisco how they could be used at the wedding. I had two of one width in my hand, and one of another.
“How much are these?” I asked the vendor.
“Fifty cents each,” he replied.
Before I could even think, another woman reached down and grabbed the other (and last) three rolls.
Shocked at what I perceived to be her incredibly rude behavior, I began to mutter things out loud, like “I can’t believe she just did that! Are you kidding me? I’m looking at these and she just grabs them up!”
She ignored me. I got louder (and more irritated).
She continued to ignore me.
Then, as I paid the man, she stood next to me, and I said to her, “You know, I was going to use these for my daughter’s wedding, and you knew I was looking at them! I can’t believe you just grabbed them like that! Would you even consider letting me have them?”
“Not with that attitude, I wouldn’t,” she replied, snootily.
I was incensed! Aside from feeling like a little girl who had been publicly scolded, I felt the whole thing was her fault to begin with. (And I knew I hadn’t handled the situation well at all.)
I looked around for my husband (who had distanced himself from me-lol) and walked toward him, saying, very loudly, “Can you believe her? How incredibly RUDE! You see, this is why I HATE Florida! So many people here are like that!”
He said, “I TOLD you to come over here. I kept telling you to come over here and look at them. But did you? No. You wanted to look at the DVDs.”
If I had had something in my hand I could have belted him with, I might have done it. Now I was angry with two people!
“Ok, you know what?” I said. “Just leave me alone. Let me cool off, because right now I’m really angry, and I don’t want to say things I’m going to regret later.”
Wisely, he did.
And I cooled off, and then began to look at the situation with some humor.
Why am I telling you this?
Well, because I know that I’m not the only one who gets triggered. I know that I’m not the only one who feels frustrated, and annoyed, and who handles things with less-than-perfect grace.
Because this is a perfect example of how the Law of Attraction works (or how “Thinkin’ it Into Bein’” works – yeah, kinda in reverse of what I wanted, but it is how it works!). And it is a useful teaching experience.
So, first off: what were my underlying beliefs to begin with that created a situation like this?
1) “The people in So. Florida are rude, rude, rude.” (Sorry to those of you beloveds on my list who live here; I realize this is a huge generalization, and is meant more about strangers in stores. Regardless, I have this belief, and it gets activated waaayyy too often.)
2) “I have to get mine before someone else takes it from me.” (Yep, that one’s in there, sorry to say.)
3) “There’s not enough for all of us.” (Old stuff for me, and very familiar to most, if not all of us.)
4) “When I get angry and loud, then I get in trouble/rejected/ignored/silenced.” (A female issue, generally speaking.)
I’m sure there are plenty of others, but these are the bigger, more obvious ones. (Can you spot any that may have come up for you in the course of reading this?)
So, here’s something to be aware of: we all get triggered. And when we do, we usually don’t handle things as well as we would like to, or as well as we normally do. We go to some place inside of us that is much younger, and less able to handle the situation with objectivity or grace.
This is where EFT or the tapping comes in so handy. Because when you tap on your feelings as you are triggered, you release them or neutralize them. Maybe not immediately, and maybe not completely, but you will soften the intensity of them. Over time, you find yourself getting less and less triggered about, well, pretty much everything.
And here’s something else to be aware of: When you’re feeling something – joy, delight, frustration, annoyance, anger, whatever it is – Law of Attraction will only bring you more of the same, or some very similar-type vibrations.
You can see from my above example that I went from annoyance to anger, as more and more of my negative beliefs were activated and triggered. The more I paid attention to them and gave them energy (or voice), the bigger and more intense they got – AND – the more they attracted similar beliefs or vibrations.
(This also works in the opposite way, too; the more you pay attention to something you want and give it positive energy, the bigger and more intense it gets – and the more quickly you see it manifested in your life.)
I even knew this even as I headed down this road. Frankly, I didn’t care. I was on a roll and nothing was stopping me. Until I went so far that I really didn’t like where I was ending up and how I was feeling. It was then that I stopped. I chose differently. I had to. I was feeling too awful.
I removed myself from the situation, went outside, yelled at the lady (and Francisco!) in my mind for a minute or so, then breathed deeply, looked at the trees, and even tapped. I began to feel relief. I began to feel better, softer, kinder.
My immediate relief was when I took myself away from the situation. Then, as I tapped, I felt better. I didn’t laugh immediately, but when I finally went back in and found Francisco, I was able to laugh again – at him, at myself, even at the lady.
But, know this: it was a process. It always is.
I could see how I had created the whole encounter with my beliefs. I could see how I activated all of those beliefs through my intense feelings (and, by the way, knew that I was creating my future even in that very moment by thinking those thoughts and feeling those feelings – grrrr!).
So how do we create?
1) Through the very thoughts we think.
2) Through the very feelings we have about the thoughts we think. The more intense the feelings, the quicker you manifest. (This is very good, if you are practiced at feeling hope and joy and delight, especially while thinking about the things you want to create. On the flip side, it can also be a challenge if you have practiced feeling intensely negatively about things. If that’s the case, work on it, tap on it … work through your beliefs.)
In my own example, I have had some pretty intense negative feelings and beliefs about the way I think people behave in So. Florida. Do you think that those feelings and beliefs are creating my reality? Yes. Absolutely. And because it has been so strong, I frequently see examples of it, and I think “See, I’m right!” And while I get to be right, I don’t get to be happy here in Florida. I can’t have both. (I’ve worked on it, I promise you, and it’s gotten much, much better. Still, this showed me I still have more work to do.)
3) By holding the vision of what it is we want.
So, dear ones, have you been triggered lately? If so, how are you using it to learn more about yourself? How are you using it to learn more about how you’re creating? And how are you using it to learn more about how to create what it is you want in your life?
Your assignment, should you choose to do it:
Think of a time when you were triggered about something. Now look at the underlying beliefs you have about that situation. Write them down. Tap on the most intense one(s). Notice where it shows up in your life in other areas. (It will. I promise.) Notice how this belief infiltrates your life. Tap on the belief – daily, if you must – to reduce your intensity.
Extra Credit: Think of something you really want to create in your life. What beliefs do you have that are keeping you from creating it? Tap on the most intense one(s). Notice where it shows up in your life in other areas. Tap on that belief – again, daily, if you must – to reduce your intensity. Begin to move into joy and excitement as you think about your dream. The more frequently you can stay there, the more quickly you will manifest it.