I have a kitty who is a healer kitty. But I didn’t know that at first. Heck, it was years before I realized it.
Years ago, on August 5, 2000, around 9 pm, to be exact, I was driving home and I saw a little grey kitten by the side of the road. She was chasing bugs. She had only one eye, was tiny – skinny and filthy – and had a respiratory infection. I pulled over and picked her up. She began to purr. There were no houses in sight so I brought her home with me. I took her to the vet the next day and got her food and medicine. I knew I had saved her life.
It was exactly one week after I found out that my (former) husband had been molesting my 13-year old daughter. (You can read that story here.) Pixie came into my life at a time when I needed her most. She purred while I cried and curled up next to me to soothe me. She reminded me that life would get better. And she saved my life.
Pixie taught me to be a healer. She showed me what a healer kitty looked like. She often would come into the office where I was holding healing sessions and curl up at the foot of the chair where my client sat. She anchored the energy for them and they never even knew it.
A couple of years ago, she began to show signs of irritability, restlessness, and lots of hunger. She was eating a lot for a little 4.5 pound cat, and was crying a lot. Nothing really soothed her. The vet diagnosed her with hyperthyroidism and we began meds. It was tough; she hated it, and I hated giving them to her.
Then about 8 months ago, she got irritable bowel disease, and began to have persistent diarrhea. We tried everything: meds (didn’t work), food changes (minimal help), tapping and Reiki healing, distance healing. And then I discovered some Chinese herbal remedies that helped. Immensely.
Life began to be “normal” again. Until a few weeks ago. She lost a lot of weight and had diarrhea again. This time, nothing helped.
I had promised her a few months ago that I would let her go when she told me she was ready. And today she told me that she’s ready.
But I wasn’t ready. I’m not ready.
Nothing can prepare you for losing a beloved one. The questions you have run through your mind: Should I have done something differently? Should I have made her go through that horrible treatment? Or surgery? Should I have continued with the meds instead of the herbs? And so on…
But in the end, what’s left is love. Gratitude. And the awareness of the beauty of having shared a life together.
What’s left are the sacred, precious moments
we have together.
Pixie holds my heart in a way very few other kitties have. I can hardly bear to let her go. But I will, as soon as I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that this is what she wants. I am so honored to have shared this lifetime with her.
I share this on my business blog because it is so important to acknowledge the support we have in our businesses (and our lives) from so many different places. One is from our beloved pets. Another is from our Divine team (angels and guides). Another is from nature itself. Another from our families and friends. And so on.
Having the freedom to share each day with her has gotten even more precious. It is something that cannot be underestimated. One of my great values is having the freedom to spend precious time with those I love. And Pixie is definitely one of my beloveds.
Please pray for her, and for me, as we walk this sacred journey together.
It’s been a year since I wrote this blog. And over the course of the year, Pixie’s health fluctuated. She is still with me today (thank you, God!)… but Skittles, our 17-year old kitty, got quite ill, and ultimately passed the week before Thanksgiving, 2014. (You can read that story here.)
The experience of walking with them through this past year was profoundly sacred. I felt I was walking a tightrope between letting go and holding on, between being a stand for what is possible (long life and great health), and surrendering to the experience I was actually in. And yet, the journey of being a caretaker for these beautiful beings has been such a gift.
When I want to control things, I had to breathe and remember I am not in control. (At least not the way I want.) I remember that I have choice (and control) about how I react, but I do not have choice over how long my fur babies live. That is their soul’s contract, not mine. My choice is how to support them and love them on the journey.
I’m sure I’ll be sharing more about Pixie along the way. In the meantime, love your babies as only you can. They soak it up and give it back 100-fold!