Five Simple (and Sometimes Not-So-Easy) Strategies
“I’m so stressed!” my daughter, Christina, told me. “I have no idea where I’m going to get the money to pay for the caterer or the videographer!”
It was less than two months to her wedding, and I had no idea what to tell her. My husband and I had already decided how much to give her, and I knew that our budget was going to be over as it was. She’d been saving for years for her wedding, and every penny she had was going toward this very special day.
Her fiancé had contributed a significant amount of money toward the wedding and rehearsal dinner. Her dad had given her his budget, as well.
Last, but not least, her grandparents and her beloved uncle had already given her a brand new SUV as a college graduation and wedding gift, so it wasn’t likely that they would be giving her more money.
Here she was, less than two months away, and she hadn’t contracted her caterer or her videographer, because she had no idea where she’d get the money to pay for it.
Her fiancé quipped that people might just have to bring bag lunches…
And here we were, in the middle of this recession and she (my only child) was planning her dream wedding. She’d already had to scale it back by reducing the number of people. Others had moved in to help: a dear friend of mine (thank you, Iney!) and I were handling the flowers and the decorating, and Christina herself had created many beautiful, elegant touches. I had made her veil(and no, that’s not her veil in the picture).
So, what could I tell her? I had felt challenged to hold the vision of what I wanted the past number of months even while wondering if my husband would have a job this school year (he’s a professor, and six tenured professors actually lost their jobs this year because of budget cuts). And our kitchen had had water damage. We were waiting for the insurance company to handle the claim (waiting, waiting, waiting…). We even had some uncertainty as to whether our claim would be handled (although we were pretty sure it would be), and our latest estimate from the contractor was over $28,000!
My work is all about how we move beyond the appearance of reality (what you don’t want oftentimes) to hold fast to the vision of what it is you do want. And I had felt the test during this time to hold fast to my own dreams and visions. Yet I knew that that was the only way: to not talk about what I didn’t want, but rather to focus only upon what I did want.
Isn’t this the challenge we all find ourselves in sometimes? We plan for one outcome, and yet something else happens. We want something desperately, and yet there are roadblocks that stand in our way of creating it.
I listened to her and then murmured some encouraging words about how I knew she’d figure it out because she is so incredibly capable and how I’d seen her manifest things before (the SUV being just one example), and that I’d help in any way I could (although I knew I didn’t have more money to give her at this point in time, much as I would have loved to). I felt deep within my being that she needed to work this one out.
We hung up and I returned to hold the vision of her wedding the way I knew she wanted it to be. (This was one way I knew I could help.)
Several weeks later, she called to say that the money had come. I asked what happened, and she said the person who is giving it to us asked me to keep them anonymous. Now, they could finish the plans for the wedding.
As we talked, I realized she had practiced the following five steps in order to manifest this money. These five steps are the same steps we all take – all the time – as we create our lives – whether consciously or unconsciously.
1. Clarity – Christina knew what she wanted and didn’t let any other possibility even enter into her thoughts. She knew she wanted a caterer, and it wasn’t an option to not have one. She knew she wanted a videographer and it wasn’t an option to not have one. The only option she was considering was which caterer or videographer.
2. Focus – Christina focused on what she wanted and not on what she didn’t want. She spent time looking at wedding magazines, at wedding shows on TV, and dreaming about what she wanted … and she focused on those things. (Focus, by the way, is different from clarity because clarity always comes first. Focus is what you do with the clarity.)
3. Envisioning – Christina spent time envisioning her ideal wedding day, and punctuated it with specifics of what each piece would look like. She never envisioned her wedding day without the caterer or the videographer. She didn’t spend time thinking about all that could go wrong. She didn’t spend time thinking about scary awful things. She spent time thinking about how she wanted it to go.
4. Intense Feelings – When Christina thought about her wedding, she felt happy. Yes, she also felt stress, but as she imagined that day, she felt happy about it. When you are envisioning your dream, the more intensely joyous you feel about it, the more you are in alignment with that dream.
Intensely negative feelings, unfortunately, also have great power. The more powerfully you feel something, the more quickly you will create in your life. This is why it is so important to clean up your fears and anxieties, and your guilt and shame, especially the intense ones.
5. Trusting – Christina truly trusted that it would work out. Even though she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to create the money for what she wanted, on another, deeper level, she trusted.
There were a number of times that we would talk and she told me she was worried and I reminded her that things always worked out for her (which is true, by the way). She would agree with me, and then sometimes say, “But I’m afraid it won’t happen this time.” Thus, even while she trusted, she also worried.And even while she worried, she also trusted. Her trust proved greater than her lack of trust.
If you realize that right now you are not using these tools to the greatest of your ability and you want to use them more effectively, then try this: begin affirming that you are those characteristics.
Here are some affirmations to get you started:
1. Clarity – I am clear about my purpose and about my life. I have clarity of vision in all things.
2. Focus – I am focused as I move through my day. I focus only upon that which I want.
3. Envisioning – I easily envision what I want in my life. I love holding the vision of what I want.
4. Intense Feelings – I feel joy whenever I think about what I want. I allow myself to move into greater and greater alignment with my vision and my dream for my life, and I allow myself to feel the pure bliss that it holds.
5. Trusting – I trust Spirit (God, the Universe, Divinity, Source) to provide for me all that I need to create what it is I want most in my life. I am trusting, and I trust.
Now, go play and have fun with this! See what you can create today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year!