I was at an event a few years ago, and a woman went up to the mic to ask a question. The leader of the event said that the woman had attended other events but hadn’t ever chosen to invest money with the leader. She then said “You’ll never have more than a $100,000 business.”
I was stunned, because you could feel the manipulative energy behind that statement. And saying it in a public forum because she was shaming the woman for not having signed up with her in the past – especially in front of hundreds of people was wrong, wrong, wrong.
I want to believe that the leader who said it was trying to instill some motivation in the participant (heck, in all the participants!) to sign up for her programs, but it felt too manipulative.
That moment left me with a very sour taste in my mouth. I stopped following her after that.
All these years later that’s still one of the things I remember about that event. The shaming, blaming and manipulation.
We have a lot of power as leaders.
Our words make a difference.
We use them to inspire or to manipulate. We can use them to invite others to step into a new space of hope and possibility or to shame and blame them when they don’t.
It seems to me that the bottom line
is either we trust or we don’t.
Either we trust that in the highest sense, all is well with what we choose, and with what others choose for themselves… or not.
Either we trust in Divine timing or we think everything is up to us to control and manage.
If we trust, then we don’t use manipulative energy like shame and blame. And if we don’t trust, well then, we show how we don’t trust by trying to do whatever we can – and by saying whatever we can – to make things go our way.
I never asked the woman how those words landed on her. She may not have even noticed. But I noticed. And I would venture to say that many others did, too.
As leaders, it is up to us to use our words with an intention of clarity and love. And that means that do our best to stay centered and grounded. To stay connected.
By the way, this does NOT mean staying silent when we see troubling things happening. Not at all. It does mean being aware of how our words land on others. It means being aware of our power and using it for good.
Until next time, lovey…