Earlier this week, I was dragging around with very little energy. This is pretty unusual for me because I am accustomed to getting up early and starting work immediately – and being able to work straight through the day (with a yummy break for swimming). However, as you know, less than two weeks ago, I had major surgery.
Last week, I was still able to get the ezine written and out, my daily blogs written, and my email handled, as well as attend a meeting virtually. I was able to get my own morning tea and oranges, and later in the week, I was able to feed my beloved birds and ducks two times a day. I could shower and dress myself. All good.
However, on Monday, some gremlin hit me. I felt exhausted. I decided I was going to push through it anyway. Monday evening, I fixed a simple dinner for Francisco and me for the first time. But afterward, I was done for.
By Tuesday, I was unable to do much. I felt depressed, unable to focus, and certainly in no space to write my ezine or blogs. By 1 pm, I surrendered to the exhaustion and slipped into bed. Three hours later I awoke, still exhausted, still unable to focus, still depressed.
My inner conversation was raging at this point. (This is what resistance looks like, by the way.) “What the heck is wrong with me?” “Why can’t I focus?” “Why do I feel this way?” “I don’t want to do anything, and I just took a long nap. What’s going on?” “Is this a side effect of the surgery?”
I couldn’t bear the idea of checking email. Or writing anything. Or fixing dinner (even though I was very hungry). Or. Or. Or.
I prayed. I asked for guidance. I asked my guides and angels to clear my energy and help me regain balance.
And through praying, I surrendered to the experience. I surrendered to the exhaustion. I surrendered to the lack of focus. I surrendered to the depression.
And I trusted. I trusted that this would pass. I trusted that I would be cared for. I trusted that all would be well again.
I asked myself: what will make me feel better? The answer: dinner. I was hungry. Dinner would take care of that.
When my husband came home soon after, I had fixed a simple dinner of salad and couscous. We sat down to eat, and I asked myself again, what will make me feel better? The answer: watch TV. So we did. TV allowed me to let go, to digest dinner, to stop resisting the exhaustion. It gave me a space to just be. To laugh at some of the comedy, and to enjoy what I could.
Wednesday, I awoke feeling so much better. I was able to focus. I was able to feel joyful. I was able to write! I suspect I may have more of those other days in the future, and if so, I will surrender to them as best I can. I am aware that these are indeed some of the side effects of the surgery I just had. There are some things I can take to support my body in regaining balance, and as soon as I can go swimming again, that will be one of them!
Here’s the lesson in this – for all of us.
1. As soon as you can, stop resisting what’s happening. Surrender to it. Allow it to be. Because it is in the allowing that you will be able to move through it much more quickly. Nobody likes feeling bad – emotionally or physically. Yet, it is a part of life as we evolve into higher consciousness. We all have days. Let them be, and look for the lessons in them. Look for your opportunity to become more than you are. Look for the compassion for yourself and you’ll find it. Then that compassion will extend to others, as well.
2. When you’re feeling bad, ask yourself, “What will make me feel better?” Then trust your answer. Just do it if you can. Your body and your higher self knows what you need to help regain balance and to heal – or to simply feel better. Allow yourself to be guided by this inner wisdom.
3. When you cannot figure out an answer for what’s going on, pray. Yeah, that’s it. Pray. Because by praying, you are declaring your intention of finding your answer. You are setting an intention of healing. And in setting your intention, you will find your answers.
So that’s it. Surrender. Ask yourself, “What will make me feel better?” Trust. Do it. Pray.
Your Action Steps:
1. Ask yourself, “What is my lesson in this?” Listen for the answer. Trust it.
2. Ask yourself, “What will make me feel better?” Trust your answer. Then do it.
3. Pray, and surrender to what is going on. You’ll find your way through. Trust it.
By the way, notice the theme above? Trust. Trust. Trust.